Return-Path: <sentto-279987-4176-1009983845-fc=all.net@returns.groups.yahoo.com> Delivered-To: fc@all.net Received: from 204.181.12.215 [204.181.12.215] by localhost with POP3 (fetchmail-5.7.4) for fc@localhost (single-drop); Wed, 02 Jan 2002 07:05:09 -0800 (PST) Received: (qmail 23223 invoked by uid 510); 2 Jan 2002 15:04:27 -0000 Received: from n12.groups.yahoo.com (216.115.96.62) by all.net with SMTP; 2 Jan 2002 15:04:27 -0000 X-eGroups-Return: sentto-279987-4176-1009983845-fc=all.net@returns.groups.yahoo.com Received: from [216.115.97.163] by n12.groups.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 02 Jan 2002 15:04:05 -0000 X-Sender: fc@red.all.net X-Apparently-To: iwar@onelist.com Received: (EGP: mail-8_0_1_3); 2 Jan 2002 15:04:04 -0000 Received: (qmail 20667 invoked from network); 2 Jan 2002 15:04:04 -0000 Received: from unknown (216.115.97.172) by m9.grp.snv.yahoo.com with QMQP; 2 Jan 2002 15:04:04 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO red.all.net) (12.232.125.69) by mta2.grp.snv.yahoo.com with SMTP; 2 Jan 2002 15:04:04 -0000 Received: (from fc@localhost) by red.all.net (8.11.2/8.11.2) id g02F49x05076 for iwar@onelist.com; Wed, 2 Jan 2002 07:04:09 -0800 Message-Id: <200201021504.g02F49x05076@red.all.net> To: iwar@onelist.com (Information Warfare Mailing List) Organization: I'm not allowed to say X-Mailer: don't even ask X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.5 PL3] From: Fred Cohen <fc@all.net> X-Yahoo-Profile: fcallnet Mailing-List: list iwar@yahoogroups.com; contact iwar-owner@yahoogroups.com Delivered-To: mailing list iwar@yahoogroups.com Precedence: bulk List-Unsubscribe: <mailto:iwar-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com> Date: Wed, 2 Jan 2002 07:04:09 -0800 (PST) Subject: [iwar] [fc:Top.secret.memo.To:.Abdiqassim.Salad.Hassan,.transitional.president.of.Somalia] Reply-To: iwar@yahoogroups.com Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit New York Times January 2, 2002 Top Secret Memo By Nicholas D. Kristof To: Abdiqassim Salad Hassan, transitional president of Somalia From: Transitional Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Somalia Somalia's most urgent priority at the moment is to get bombed by the Americans. Then maybe somebody will finally start paying attention (and money) to our country. Fortunately, it seems likely that the Americans may oblige - although there is always the risk that they will get mixed up and hit Somaliland or Sierra Leone instead. Washington is thinking about the next stage in its war on terrorism, and in the search for a target that all players can agree on, these supposed terrorist training camps in Somalia keep coming up. American knowledge of Somalia is based almost entirely on "Black Hawk Down," now playing at cinemas. It leaves viewers strongly supportive of dropping conventional or nuclear weapons on Somalia. (Indeed, it's hard to think of a Westerner who has really understood our country since Sir Richard Burton sneaked inside, in 1854. And, considering what he wrote about the sexual practices of our women - even if he wrote in an admiring tone - he studied us with rather too much enthusiasm.) Of course, our government has hitherto publicly opposed being bombed. We have used various arguments against bombing, noting that if our feeble government were toppled and total chaos reigned, then Somalia could become an even greater breeding ground for terrorism. We have invited Americans to inspect for themselves. Indeed, it would be nice if American officials dared to come, joining us for a traditional Somali breakfast of camel liver and then chewing khat and getting high together, for a mellow discussion of international terrorism. But it seems unlikely. So let us adopt a new tactic. If some suspected training camps in the desert are to be bombed, let us embrace that fate. Frankly, there is nothing here left to be destroyed. The reality is that our transitional government, only a year old, is already falling apart. We are broke and have not paid police or soldiers for three months. Our biggest company, Al Barakaat, has been shut down because Washington claims it was financing terrorists. Somalia's greatest problem is that it has been forgotten by the West. Here we are, arguably the poorest and most devastated country in the world, three-quarters of our population malnourished, only 14 percent of our children going to elementary school, our own "national" government ruling only half of this one city of Mogadishu, and we can't get any assistance. We can call our strategy the Manila Method. The Philippines had a long-running, annoying insurgency in the south, and for years the Americans paid no heed. But then Manila claimed that its insurgency was intimately related to Al Qaeda. Bingo - the Americans condemned this new threat to international security and are helping to eradicate it. Now in Somalia, everyone is trying to play the Qaeda card. Our enemies, the warlords in the city of Baidoa, are fulminating about the supposed Qaeda networks here, in hopes that the Americans will drop bombs on us. The separatists in Somaliland are offering to help the Americans against us. In the old days, factions in Somalia pretended to be Communist or capitalist to win favors from the superpowers; now they talk about Al Qaeda. So here is our proposal, Mr. President. We issue a formal invitation to Osama bin Laden to come to Somalia, on behalf of a fictitious warlord in some nearby town - say, Gialalassi. Then we will announce a few sightings. The Americans will obligingly drop bombs. At a penny a pound, the scrap metal itself will be a boon to Somalia's economy. And if Osama does come, we can turn him in and claim that $25 million reward. Then we will announce that Gialalassi has surrendered, and the Americans will arrive to search for Osama. Journalists and aid workers will come, each carrying money belts full of hundred-dollar bills. Foreign exchange reserves will soar. Somalia will be saved. It may seem strange, Mr. President, that the only way for one of the poorest, most fragile countries in the world to get international help is for it to be linked to terrorism and then bombed. But that is how the world works today. ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor ---------------------~--> Tiny Wireless Camera under $80! Order Now! FREE VCR Commander! Click Here - Only 1 Day Left! http://us.click.yahoo.com/WoOlbB/7.PDAA/ySSFAA/kgFolB/TM ---------------------------------------------------------------------~-> ------------------ http://all.net/ Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
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